


Life Round Here

by RinnyKi



Series: shenanigans with peter [1]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Decisions, Crack, Facial Hair, Peter is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 04:59:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13919868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RinnyKi/pseuds/RinnyKi
Summary: Peter grows a goatee, everyone hates it (except for him).This is honestly pure trash that i pulled outta the swamp i call my brain. forgive me.





	Life Round Here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spicyjarvis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicyjarvis/gifts).



It was a normal day. All for everyone else except for Peter, that is. 

After taking off his spidey suit in the alleyway (and being whistled at after being caught half naked) he recieved a call from Mr. Stark.

"Hey, yo Peter I need you to do me a favor. That goatee that you're wearing? Stop it. Get rid of it, it looks terrible."

"but mr stark-"

"no fucking butts shave it fucking off" with those last words, tony hung up the phone. 

peter held his head in his hands. why didnt anyone accept him!!???

first aunt may kicked him out because she didnt want to be seen with him, then at school everyone laughed at him and called him GoatMan, then he got denied pizza from his favorite pizza place, and now mr stark is discriminating against him too?!!

no. no. peter resfuses to conform to society. just because they dont like his stylish new facial hair??? SCREW. THEM. 

and at that moment, as peter stood in the alleyway, phone clutched in one hand, spiderman suit in the other, he made up his mind.

....

three days had passed. 

peter was living in the streets. dumpter diving, begging passerbys (who ignored him because they didnt understand the beauty of his beard). he.was. filthy.

his clothes were torn, his hair a greasy mess, but his goatee was long as ever, so despite his struggles, peter was happy. 

that is until iron man came flying fown from the sky to land in front of him. 

"NO" shouted peter "IM NOT COMIMG WITH YOU. this hair is MINE and you CANT TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME"

peter tried to run, but with no avail. the black widow rounded the corner and swiftly stuck a needle in his neck.

with his last conscious breaths peter whispered "you cant stop what doesnt want to he stopped"  
the final thing peter saw before he passed out was the disgusted faces of the avengers staring over him. 

.....

when peter woke up, he felt different. he felt cleaner. he felt like he was more accepted by society somehow. 

peter reached up to yawn, but froze when he felt his face.  
no.  
no this couldnt be. 

peter shot out of the bed he was resting in and ran towards the bathroom

when peter looked in the mirror, he was horrified  
what happened to him.  
his goatee. that he had meticulously spent time growing for the last 8 months. was GONE.

NOO.  
peter wailed and cried and pulled his hair in despair. his life was OVER. 

"WHYYYYY. dear god WHY"

tony calmly walked in the room and stood behind peter.  
"it was for your own good."

peter looked up at the man, tears and rage filling his eyes. peter reached under the sink and grabbed a razor. then he pounced

"HOW ABOUT U GET A TASTE OF UR OWN MEDICINE MR STARK"

but it was all in vain, mr stark was only but a hologram.  
as peter fell through the hologram, tony spoke

"i had a feeling that you would do that. it seems you are unstable, so with the permission of your aunt and your school, you are being legally detained." 

peter gasped. tony continued talking

"now i want you to think about your actions and your terrible facial hair choices, and call me when youve gained some respect for yourself and the people around you. LATERS"

tony left.  
peter was all alone now with only his thoughts to keep him company.  
for days peter cried, until one day he felt a prick of stubble on his chin. 

peter smiled. you can't stop what doesnt want to be stopped.

**Author's Note:**

> The end. hope u enjoyed my crap. Also the lack of capitalization and other stuff
> 
> p.s. should i write more


End file.
